Miniature Schnauzer Standard Schnauzer Giant Schnauzer » Humor and Joke

Warning don’t enter to toilet on date 31/12/2011

petmyforum — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 14:53:01 +0000

MY BEAUTIFUL DOGGY By Artist Neil Kerber,

petmyforum — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 07:08:46 +0000

Artist Neil Kerber, MY BEAUTIFUL DOGGY: Have your pooch turned into a funny cartoon by top newspaper cartoonist: http://www.neilkerber.com/my-beautiful-doggy/

Dog named Sex

petmyforum — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 12:21:38 +0000

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Spot”. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog’s license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I would like to have one too!” Then I said, “But she is a dog!” He said he didn’t care what she looked like. I said, “You don’t understand. … I have had Sex since I was nine years old.” He replied, “You must have been quite a strong boy.” When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, “But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex.” He said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, “You don’t understand. … Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too!” One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. “You don’t understand,” I said, “I hoped to have Sex on TV.” He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married.” The Judge said, “Me too!” Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o’clock in the morning. I said, “I’m looking for Sex.” — My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I’ve been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, “What seems to be the trouble?” I replied, “Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn’t live any longer so lonely.” and the doctor said, “Look mister, you should understand that sex isn’t a man’s best friend so get yourself a dog.”

Rusty On Facebook

petmyforum — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 09:21:41 +0000

Bark! Bark! Thanks for the follow. I can’t wait to sniff out you and your dog too. Keep On Wagging!

By Me

Miniature Schnauzer Obeying!

petmyforum — Wed, 27 May 2009 17:04:34 +0000

I have a joke and humor about Rusty. Look at him? he asking you back the question!

By Me

Obedience school and Newspapers every morning

petmyforum — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 16:46:47 +0000

During break time at obedience school, two dogs were talking.
One said to the other…”The thing I hate about obedience school is you learn ALL this stuff you will never use in the real world.

A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, “We’ve got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning.” Her husband replies, “Well, lots of dogs can do that.” The wife responded, “But we’ve never subscribed to any!”

Three Dogs

petmyforum — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 08:12:11 +0000

Dear Reader,
since talking many about my Miniature Schnauzers, I would like give you some humor and joke. Let you laugh without boring. Here is my first joke for you. Hope you enjoy………

Three Dogs
3 dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vet’s office. One is a Poodle, one is a Schnauzer and the other is a Great Dane. The Poodle turns to the Schnauzer and asks, “Why are you here?”
The Schnauzer responds, “I’m 17 years old. I don’t see or hear very well. I’ve been having accidents in the house. My owner says I’m too old and sick so he brought me here to be put to sleep.” The Schnauzer asks the poodle, “Why are you here?”
The Poodle responds, “I’ve not been myself lately. I’ve been especially high strung. I’ve been barking all the time, I’ve been snapping at people and I even bit one of the neighbor’s kids. Nobody knows why this has been happening. My owner says he can’t risk me biting somebody else so he brought me here to be put to sleep.” The Poodle and Schnauzer ask the Great Dane why he is here.
The Great Dane responds, “My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterday she was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to pick up something she dropped. She was bent over and naked when nature took over and the next thing I know I’m on top of her doing the doggie thing. I couldn’t help myself. ”
The Poodle asks, “So your owner brought you here to be put to sleep?”
The Great Dane says, “No, I’m just here to get my nails trimmed.”